you're lovely

Dear tumblr

I don’t know, sometimes I just think so much to the point I ruin things.
I feel like I’m ruining my relationship by being a bitch. I just feel there’s someone so much better for him like I’m not good enough because I’m already a bitch or miserable but I’m not miserable because of him I’m sad because I think there’s someone better out there. In my class there’s this girl that he said he liked before me. Every time I look at her I think what if she’s better than me and everytime he talks to her what if he says i wish my girlfriend can be this understanding and not like a bitch.Maybe I’m insecure or just jealous I don’t know. It’s something my mind rambles to me about. I feel if I say sorry to him that he knows I’m just going to do it again. He tells me he doesn’t want to lose me and loves me I believe him. I just feel like a crappy girlfriend..to the point I think how I could do better and care..like I said to the point I think so much I ruin a lot of things and I know if I show him this he will just say I’m just a girl or say your thinking to much I’ve told you before how I feel and get tired of it and leave me..but it’s the fact I want to be perfect for him and I don’t want to lose him..scares me to death.